someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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