Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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