saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
