Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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