I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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