New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
