I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
