farters have to be the big spoon...
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
