Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
