she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
