They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
