the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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