After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
