But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
