why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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