I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
