Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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