I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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