Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize