this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
