Whod you bang
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
People in love make me want to vomit
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
