just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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