I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You need Xanax blowdarts
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
