hell yes lets make some ravioli
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
