I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
