we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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