it wasn't lemon gatorade
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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