how can u be prego again
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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