Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
