well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
