when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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