When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
