Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
