we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
