I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize