xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
