girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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