Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
