dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
