I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
