I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
