that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
