I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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