when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
