Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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