Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
