so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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