I wanna bring you to show and tell
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
