found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
