We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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