well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
