Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
