Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
My life is pants optional.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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