'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
honey bunches of taint.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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