Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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