just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
