And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm sobbing to NWA
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
