dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
