I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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